It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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