Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
