between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
