I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Still dying that you shit outside
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
