Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
