OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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