weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Are we still banned from the library?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
