you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
