Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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