there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
