Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
