my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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