I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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