my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
