I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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