kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's blow job season.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
