Whod you bang
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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