somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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