Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
