I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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