How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
