I wish i was in the wii world.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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