Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
