What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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