That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
