i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
