oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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