Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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