in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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