I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
