Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
love makes seman taste better
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
