I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize