he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize