porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's never too late to be topless.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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