so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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