I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
