i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
