Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
