I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
