Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize