Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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