he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
