I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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