You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just had sex on a roof
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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