Dual....:-)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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