Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
