Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize