You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
