My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
