Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize