Can i not drive my cunt home
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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