I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
