Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
