careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
