It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
