yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
